The Golden Boy by J Darcy

Author:J Darcy [Darcy, J]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2020-06-29T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter 9

His head hurt. His limbs felt weak, like an invisible force kept him pinned down against the polyester cushion of the dingy booth he sat in. Hours ago, he thought venturing to one of the few dive bars in the west of the city was the right choice. That maybe a few beers and time with a friend would be a balm to his hurting heart.

Sure, it meant breaking the near month and half he had gone without a drink of alcohol, but after a day like today, it was needed.

What’s done is done.

Her words floated around in his head, twisting around his heart and lungs like a boa constrictor. He couldn’t breathe and he couldn’t function. This wasn’t like him. Cade Campbell didn’t fall apart because of anyone or anything, let alone a woman.

One that he crossed the first time around.

It was all his fault, and that knowledge made everything hurt just a little bit more. Thankfully, Dean was there to listen to his sorry ass talk, nodding along in quiet support. Or pity. He wasn’t sure.

Part of him didn’t even want to go to Dean with his own stupid behavior—especially now that his best friend was effectively his current boss.

But the alternative was going home alone and drinking his way through a bottle until the only liquid around him was the drunken tears dripping down his face. He was so fucking stupid. He was a pathetic sack of shit, and today made it even more apparent just how little he deserved her.

Kellie deserved a man who knew what he wanted. Which Cade now did, but it just felt a little too late. No—it didn’t feel—it was too late. She said it herself.

“I don’t get it.” Dean began, nursing his own bottle of some local brew, “If you have feelings for her—and it sounds like you always have—why the hell did you run away? Why didn’t you just tell her that?”

Cade had been asking himself that same question over and over again for more than eighteen months. But the truth wasn’t that complicated, really. He just didn’t like the answer.

“I was a coward. I was scared about what would happen next. Equally petrified by the thought of her not wanting more and the heartbreak and awkwardness that would follow, and then us getting together, and me fucking shit up because I always fuck shit up.”

Dean sighed and shook his head, soft blonde curls shaking in the process. “You need to stop being so hard on yourself, Cade. You’re allowed to fall in love and be happy. You deserve it, too.”

Cade dropped his head, considering his friend’s words. He also wished he didn’t have to wear a fucking baseball cap at nearly ten o’clock at night. While he used to think his concerns about being recognized were just narcissism and arrogance, he knew that was no longer the case. He got recognized virtually everywhere he went. Which meant when he could help it, he tried to block his face.

He envied Dean for following his dreams while being able to maintain some sort of anonymity.

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